Here’s to Building Habits
Currently reading:
The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler
Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury
Devotions: The Selected Poems of Mary Oliver by Mary Oliver [ongoing]
Books finished this week: 3
★★★★☆
Where this book came from: Next Chapter, during my first visit at the start of the year
Why this book: A friend (hi, Maia!) lent me a copy of Lauren Groff’s Matrix, which it took me far too long to read. After falling in love with that, when I saw her latest on the shelf, I had to acquire it.
Thoughts: This was a bleak, slow read. But I . . . kind of loved it? I could see myself maybe setting it aside if I’d been in another headspace, but I was totally able to just immerse myself in the protagonist’s fight for survival. Groff’s writing is vivid, sometimes jarring, sometimes poetic, sometimes violent, sometimes blessedly soft. I loved the flashbacks to the girl’s life before and the trip to the “new world,” and at first I thought I might want more of them, or to have more of the book set in that before time. But the balance between the harsh present and the heartache and heartache in the past just worked really well for me. I knocked one star off because, admittedly, the work did get a bit repetitive as the story went on.
★★★☆☆
Where this book came from: my trip to Powell’s back in October
Why this book: Bret Easton Ellis, my problematic king<3 (I went looking for Ellis on Powell’s shelves and this was one of the few books of his I don’t already own and haven’t already read)
Thoughts: I’ll admit that, though I read Less Than Zero, I think that was back in college, so I don’t . . . totally remember what happened. But, I mean, most Ellis books are debauchery in LA, so it wasn’t hard to follow. And I don’t think having reread that book first (though I do plan to reread it now) would have changed my opinion much on Imperial Bedrooms. The characters are vapid and empty, the world is vapid and empty–that’s just kind of how things are in the worlds Ellis builds. Though I was initially intrigued, unfortunately, this novel felt especially repetitive and I just didn’t care what happened to anyone. Maybe it’s recency bias, but if you’re looking for a BEE book, I’d suggest The Shards instead.
★★★☆☆
Where this book came from: my NYE visit to B&N
Why this book: the summary and the very good cover
Thoughts: Mister Magic is marketed as a horror novel, but I never felt the horror. There are horrific things happening, yes, and a deep existential dread. But so much is just told to us, with very few flashbacks to the (in my opinion) far more interesting times when the main characters were children, that I never felt engrossed in the emotion of the story. The first half of the book was incredibly slow and didn't do very much to build the characters or advance the plot. The second half definitely had more action, but overall, this felt like a book written to exorcize the author's demons (which is valid!) rather than a novel created to immerse readers in a world and impart the story of that world. Not a terrible read, by any means, but a disappointing one, especially if you were hoping for more scary creatures and some kind of behind-the-scenes TV drama.
Library updates:
When I started reading Imperial Bedrooms this week, just a few weeks after finishing Donna Tartt’s The Secret HistoryI fell back down the rabbit hole of the Literary Brat Pack. I don’t remember exactly how I found the first article I ever read about Bennington College and the big literary names that came out of it, but I do remember being so mad that I couldn’t have been there to meet these people in the ’80s, though I’m sure either 1) I never would’ve gotten close enough because I’d 100% be a goody-two-shoes square or 2) I’d run into some of them——let’s be real, especially Ellis——at a party and think they were all insufferable elitist assholes.
But discovering Ellis, Tartt, and Jonathan Lethem through that article started a love affair with the particular time and the particular places they inhabited: Bennington, for sure, but also the New York my parents knew when they were young and the Los Angeles I’ve only seen in Terminator. College-aged me would never have been in the same rooms as those people. The me I am at almost-thirty-two at least has the confidence to try to bust in (or to emulate their prose in shitty short stories and pretend to know what they’re talking about when I ran into them at a party). So much champagne! So much cocaine! So many books!!
Anyhow, though you’ll see from my review that Imperial Bedrooms fell flat for me, I’m planning to reread the Ellis titles I remember enjoying——particularly Rules of Attraction and Less Than Zero——as well as reading the last two fiction titles of his that I haven’t read yet and finally reading Tartt’s The Little Friend. When they invent time travel, I am absolutely taking a vacation to Bennington in the early 1980s.
Another positive side effect of the Literary Brat Pack obsession is how it makes me want to write. I don’t want to steal the styles or write in the same vein; I don’t even want to go to fancy parties all that much. But I do want to write and finish a book and get that book published. So, following some of the advice laid out in Jami Attenberg’s 1000 Words, I’ve decided to write 200 words every day. That’s a teeny-tiny goal, compared to some, which makes it feel so doable, and also makes me feel so accomplished if I beat it, which in turn only motivates me to keep going the next day. My plan is just to hold myself to the 200 words every weekday——after work, after I’ve eaten dinner, and only if I don’t have somewhere to be or other work to do——but I did end up writing 200 words every day this week, starting from when I first voiced this goal to my therapist last Friday. So, a win! Here’s to building habits.
I picked a helluva week to try to motivate myself to do anything, though. It was either cloudy or raining and miserable basically every hour of every day, and the first things to flee when the weather is dismal are my ability to focus and my interest in staying awake. I had varying successes with both during the work day, but managed it for my writing and reading time. Here’s to sunny days——may we have more of them, and soon.
Closing thoughts:
April showers bring May flowers, but apparently March showers also happen, too, so just be prepared for any/everything, I guess, and build habits now so you can take care of yourself when the showers come. (I lost control of that metaphor a little bit. Did I stick the landing?)
Total books read from the Moratorium Library: 71
(For a brief and shining moment, I thought I’d get to make a 69 joke this week)
(Total books added to the Library: 140)
I was meeting Britt (hi, Britt!) this morning and literally texted from Starbucks in a panic, “We have to hit up a bookstore at some point today,” because I accidentally finished Mister Magic way faster than I thought I would and I couldn’t do my eventual trip back to Queens without something to read.
So we went to Rizzoli.
