Retreat
Currently reading:
The Woman in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware
Taking Shape by Dustin McNeill and Travis Mullins
Beloved by Toni Morrison
Devotions: The Selected Poems of Mary Oliver by Mary Oliver [ongoing]
Extracting the Stone of Madness: Poems 1962–1972 by Alejandra Pizarnik [ongoing]
Taking Shape is some spooky season-appropriate reading about the Halloween franchise. I started it two or three years ago and just ran out of steam. Hoping to finish it before the 31st this time around!
Books finished this week: 2
Featuring a gratuitous picture of my cat.
★★★★☆
Where this book came from: Kew & Willow, and I got my copy just before the book went on back order after it got longlisted for a National Book Award
Why this book: Espionage, real or fictional, will never release its stranglehold on me.
Thoughts: Could’ve done with maybe 50 percent less Neanderthal talk. But I loved exploring the messed-up psyche of the protagonist, “Sadie” (not her real name, obviously), and the ways in which she was able to subtly manipulate the people around her to get the intel she needed. And it was equally fascinating to see when her wiles didn’t work.
★★★★☆
Where this book came from: Split Rock Books, when Tess (hi, Tess!) and I visited back in April, walked into the store, and both had books in hand within the first ten minutes.
Why this book: My newfound yet deep love for Clive Barker.
Thoughts: When Clive Barker is on, he’s on. Though I found my enjoyment of the stories in Books of Blood uneven, the ones that worked really worked. And even the ones that didn’t get me had moments of either such extreme beauty or imaginative horror that I found myself compelled to keep reading. Hellbound Heart definitely leans more toward the positive for me, with beautiful and thought-provoking descriptions and also really fucked up shit. I won’t lie, I kind of hated Hellraiser (though now I do want to rewatch it), but Hellbound Heart was a great little novella, perfect for spooky season.
Library updates:
I looked out the window on Friday morning and saw that, after a summer of waiting, I have exactly one morning glory flower in bloom on my balcony. It’s the deep blue of a perfect summer day at the beach and I am so glad something so lovely got the chance to exist.
I love you, morning glory<3
My emotions have been a little all over the place the last few weeks and months, the highs of seeing friends and family struggling with the lows of being generally overwhelmed by life. But I found it a little easier to be positive this past week, and I’m attributing a lot of that to the reset I was lucky enough to have last weekend. I went on the Big Weekend writing retreat, put on by a wonderful organization called Little Nights that I encourage everyone in the NYC area to check out. Their philosophy of creating for creation’s sake was exactly what my brain needed, and a weekend in the country totally focused on writing, reading, eating incredible food, and having long conversations about all of the above with a new batch of excellent folks was just what the doctor ordered. The writing and visual arts exercises really helped me get my head on straight and I am so thankful.
I find it difficult to put into words how I feel after that weekend. The word that comes to mind is restored, like I’ve been given the freedom to be the person and writer I want to be again. I feel productive and creative and happy, like I finally truly understand and accept why I need to prioritize my writing and what my life can look like when I take part in and celebrate this work. I’ve also been searching for so long for a writing community, and I found it at Shut Up and Write for a time (and would like to find it there again!). But I was so taken aback by how peaceful and comfortable I felt within the first few hours at the retreat. As an anxious person and an introvert, I have never felt that settled with a group of strangers so quickly. It’s cliche, but it was literally a weekend we entered as strangers, sitting in separate cars on the train upstate and then side-eyeing each other at the Poughkeepsie station, and left as friends.
Top row, L to R: the view of Poughkeepsie that greeted me when I walked the wrong way; my room at the retreat; the pond outside the house
Bottom row, L to R: another outdoor shot; farmhouse books; more farmhouse books
In that spirit, I had plans with a friend get rain-checked on Friday night, so I spent a few hours writing and brainstorming out on my balcony as the sun set, accompanied by some red wine and Talking Heads. This is the life I want, slow and creative and filled with the people and things that fill me with joy and making me feel totally at ease with myself.
Closing thoughts:
We retreat so that we may begin the journey anew.
