Rough Patch
Currently reading:
The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson
’Salem’s Lot by Stephen King
The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead
I think I’m in love with Shirley Jackson? We read three of her short stories for Lit of the Gothic this week (yes, “The Lottery” was one of them) and I was reminded how excellent she is. “Summer People”?? Incredible!!
Books finished this week: 1
★★★★☆
Where this book came from: Powell’s, and I started reading this one immediately in their cafe.
Why this book: The premise and the cover.
Thoughts: I was fully with this book until the last 60ish pages. I appreciated that both halves of the couple were on board with the murderous plans and culpable for the crimes they planned and executed together. Things . . . took a turn later in the book that maybe I should have seen coming, but which I’d hoped the story would choose not to take. No spoilers, but the end of the book lost it a star for me.
Library updates:
I know I’ve said this before, but it was truly a rough week this week! Work, family concerns, grad school work——it all just added up and led to me breaking down in my doctor’s office because she asked how I was doing. She pointed out that psychologists are saying now that it was around the three- or four-month mark of the pandemic when people really started losing themselves a bit, and I’m just about there, in terms of my own major stressors. There have been a lot of ups and downs since July.
Socially, I feel fulfilled and loved by my friends, and I’m grateful to have folks in my life to talk do and do ridiculous and fun things with. My parents are important to me and those relationships feel fairly steady now, too. There are things going on personally and professionally that I won’t go into detail about, but let’s just say I’m overwhelmed in a lot of ways. Grad school contributes to the stress, too, of course, with deadlines to hit and reading and projects to be done, but it’s also a life raft right now. I love losing myself in Shirley Jackson and Stephen King, and discussing mood and tone and how to build tension and what you can reveal through dialogue. I just want to learn and create for the rest of my life.
After the incident at the doctor’s, I felt pretty out of it for the rest of the day, but I thankfully only had a couple hours of work to get through before going to my local movie theater to see Nosferatu with friends (hi, Emily and Kevin!). I had thought about canceling and wallowing, but I was feeling up for it as the day went on and I’m so glad I stuck to the plan. I needed to get out and see a bonkers silent film.
The next day, I decided to set myself up to feel better. I had told my doctor I was feeling incredibly tired and finding it hard to get out of bed on weekdays, though I thought I was sleeping enough. She countered that I had just said I was going to bed around midnight and trying to get up six-thirty to get things done in the mornings, and maybe I should just let myself sleep more than six and a half hours. So, I did that. It wasn’t an instant fix and everything isn’t perfect now, but it feels more bearable. I also ordered really good green curry for lunch that day, which I think helped, too.
The weekend has been much nicer. I went to a Halloween event on Friday night with a friend (hi, Tori!)——complete with candy table, below——and wandered around the Lower East Side on Saturday. Again, I’m grateful, and I’m actively trying to remember that on days when it’s especially hard.
Closing thoughts:
Take care of yourself, and don’t feel guilty about it. Take a break, take a nap, take a mental health day. Make small changes, when you’re feeling up to it, and don’t feel bad if you don’t stick to a new schedule or routine. We’ll get there.
Total books read from the Moratorium Library: 50 (*airhorn sounds*)
(Total books added to the Library: 107) (*sad trombone sounds*)
Though, in my defense, I didn’t technically purchase Let Us Descend——I got it free with the purchase of a ticket to the author event.
As mentioned above, one of the highlights of this week was the Lower East Side book crawl. Britt and I stopped at Book Club, P&T Knitwear, Sweet Pickle, and Yu & Me and we basically bought enough books between us to fill a bookstore. (Also, for the record, Moscow X was a free ARC I got at P&T.)
Also, I got pickles! Yay! (Pictured below with the books I got at Sweet Pickle.)
