When Stars Align
Currently reading:
The Likeness by Tana French
I think I’m going to be working on this one for a while.
Books finished this week: 0
Library updates:
It kind of makes sense that I’m having trouble clearing the hurdle of the next book——it’ll be lucky number 13, after all.
Things have just been a bit busy, though mostly in a good way. I know I’ve talked about this to plenty of people in my life, and I’m 99% sure I’ve mentioned it here, but I’ve recently signed up for some Meetup groups and am actively trying to work more things into my schedule—seeing friends, meeting new people, going to Meetup events, taking myself to see shows, movies, whatever catches my eye.
And I’m still learning the balance of all that, the fun stuff with the work stuff with the freelance stuff. Having my evenings free is lovely, but for someone who goes all-or-nothing, and has rapidly shifted from “nothing” to “VERY MUCH ALL,” it’s been a little exhausting. I keep forgetting to build quiet time into my schedule, which means I’m reading in 20-minute train-ride spurts, rather than sitting and luxuriating in hours of uninterrupted downtime.
Also, The Likeness is like 600 pages long. I mean, small pages, in my edition, but still.
One of the downsides of being busy is feeling a bit stressed about getting everything done. But one of the upsides is getting to do fun things, so I’m choosing to focus on that side. One of the fun things I did this past week was meet up with a friend (hi, Cassie!) to discuss my star charts.
I’m not totally sure where I fall on the spectrum of astrological belief. I don’t take horoscopes seriously, but I do really, really identify with being an Aries. If I had to put a label on my spiritual beliefs, I guess I’d go with agnostic, mostly because I don’t think about it too much. But I’m not going to argue with you that there is no God, or god, or gods. I’m also not going to insist that a higher power is putting us on our life paths or pulling our strings based on our good or bad deeds.
Stars are pretty and they’re quite literally powerful. So maybe their placement on the day you’re born mean something; sure.
Anyhow, I took a million notes and learned a bunch about planets and deities, and I really enjoyed our two-hour conversation, but the main takeaway seemed to be to stop using my resources on other people all the time and to allow myself to use them for myself. Take my freelance reviewing as the perfect example. I’m giving up my time, time I could spend reading a book I selected and writing a fiction piece, to read a book I was assigned and then write up a review of it.
Now, I’m not going to quit that particular side gig right now, but I am thinking a bit more about why I took it on in the first place, and why I keep looking to take on volunteer work and other freelance projects. I want to be useful; I feel like I owe it to the community to give back in some way. I’m not the best at talking to people, so what I have left to give is my time, my money, and my abilities to read, write, and edit. Despite my predisposition toward and enjoyment of sloth, I still put myself down for taking a night off, even when I know I will get done everything that needs to be done, and I will be happier and healthier for the breathing room.
I’ve been trying to take time to slow down and reflect. This blog, my journal, talks with friends. I’m working on finding the balance.
And apparently the stars and the planets have some shit in store for me in the next few weeks, so I’m just going to prep now and buckle up.
Closing thoughts:
Stars ★
