A House
Currently reading:
Devil House by John Darnielle
Sorry, buddy. I’m trying.
The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe V. Wade by Ann Fessler
I took myself to the beach on Friday afternoon after work. As I was walking out the door, I spotted this title on the shelf. I decided now was the time to read it. I know what’s at stake, but this book is a powerful reminder that we cannot fucking go back.
Books finished this week: 0
Library updates:
I didn’t finish a book this week.
At the start of the week, that was because I just had no time. I mentioned last time that I left my job at Tapas, and I started my new job on Tuesday. I’ll update all the appropriate places shortly, in case you’re curious where I landed. But, as can be expected, most of my time this week was devoted to reading HR documents, getting up to speed on imprint book lists, reviewing new projects, learning how to work a PC again after a decade of Macs (and continually using the wrong keyboard shortcuts), and beginning to absorb all the other new information I’ll need to succeed in my new job.
I also (perhaps stupidly) took on a freelance project, due in early-ish July. I’m excited about it, and (knock on wood) making excellent headway on my reading and commenting, but that meant a lot of my now--free evenings—thank you, East Coast work hours<3—-went toward that. Also toward just being exhausted, since I now have to be online by 9am at the latest. (For reference, since Tapas is based on the West Coast, I used to aim to start my workday around noon.)
Before I pivot to the other reason why I haven’t finished a book this week, the reason that is probably very obvious to everyone, I want to take a step back to a simpler——though not by much——time. Earlier this year, Britt (hi, Britt!) came over so we could watch some dystopian movies (very on brand, for us and for our times), and I believe it was that day that they gave me my belated Christmas gift: literary tarot cards.
Before Britt went home, she said we should each pull a card to see what lesson or advice we should carry with us in 2022. I pulled the house card, which represents stability, stagnation, and family. I honed in on the “stagnation” part immediately, because one of my biggest fears is getting stuck. Living in only one place, unable to shake free; never finding the things that fulfill me.
But stagnation can be good, too. Maybe I need to stand still. Maybe I need the time to gather myself and figure out what’s next. I think——hope——I’ve found stability in my professional life right now, and maybe I just need to focus on that now, get better at what I do, and stop chasing a mystery “dream job.” I do not dream of labor, as the meme says. So maybe I can stagnate where I am, love what I have, and then use this time to stabilize everything else.
The final puzzle piece for this week is, of course, that the Supreme Court of the United States overturned Roe v. Wade on Friday, June 24, 2022. I feel a weight sitting on my mind, body, and soul. I can’t focus. I don’t know what else to do. It feels like America is quite literally crumbling. And I understand how privileged that stance is, because I know so many others have been telling me, telling all of us, that things were circling the drain.
But now we live in a country where guns are widely available and abortion has been or will soon be outlawed to some extent in almost half the states, and so many other rights that we believed sacred and locked are on the line. They’ve been saying the quiet part out loud and now they’re acting on it, and nothing anyone is doing seems to be working.
I don’t know what to do.
Here’s a post I made with links for donating to abortion funds near you, and in places that need extra support. This is what I have right now.
Closing thoughts:
I have none. Take care of yourselves.
