Buzz Buzz
Currently reading:
Nerd: Adventures in Fandom From This Universe to the Multiverse by Maya Philiips
God Shot by Chelsea Bieker
Books finished this week: 1
★★★★☆
Where this book came from: National Book Festival 2022
Why this book: The cover had caught my eye early on festival day, but I was trying to curb my book purchases and decided to skip it. But then I heard the author on a panel about YA horror and . . . yeah.
Thoughts: I loved this. I docked a star because it’s (in my opinion) a too-slow wind-up for the first one hundred-ish pages, and because I got a little lost in some of the later details. There was a lot about bees, y’all. But this was a book I genuinely could not wait to get back to reading, either at night after work or first thing in the mornings. I loved Mars as a protagonist and thought the world-building was stellar. And when the horror came to the forefront and really kicked in, it really kicked in. A fast, sometimes genuinely disturbing mystery-horror. If you read it, keep an eye on the chapter titles for a fun surprise.
Library updates:
This week, I became an officially diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder girlie.
(Should I share that on the internet? Whatever, I’m going to, please clap.)
I am genuinely thrilled. I have a diagnosis, I have just started medication, and I am so, so ready to get my spiraling thoughts to calm the fuck down. I’m pretty sure I’ve been anxious since birth, and starting back up with therapy back in July has helped a lot. (I will not speak of my BetterHelp foray back in 2021——blech.) But I think/hope being on meds will help me better process situations as they happen and push my mental health closer to well, rather than unwell. I would like to stop frustration-crying when I feel overwhelmed at work and thinking everyone on the subway is judging me, please and thank you.
I got back into writing a bit this week, as well. My therapist asks me what goals I’d like to set for the week at the end of each of our sessions, and last time I said I wanted to do two writing sessions before I saw her next, with one of them being finally going back to my Meetup writing group. I haven’t been in probably a month, maybe six weeks, and though wallowing in stress at home is very fun and normal on a Wednesday evening, I did miss the creativity and camaraderie.
So I went back——finally——and it was lovely! Wrote 1000+ words, got jazzed again on my story. Didn’t write another word after that, but I’m glad I at least got some work done.
I also got an evening email from NYC Midnight that results from their 250-Word Microfiction Contest had been posted. I have to admit, I literally forgot if I’d even taken part in the contest. You have to pay to enter, but there have been one or two occasions where I’ve signed up and then not done the challenge, usually because I just ran out of time. But I looked up my submission group and, yep, sure did remember writing something around that prompt! So I looked up the results for my group.
The way these contests work is that the top ten in each group move onto the next round. Then I think there’s at least one more round——maybe two?——before final winners are selected.
I placed sixth.
I’ve made it into the top ten for one of these NYC Midnight contests I think only once before, but I don’t think it will ever not be thrilling to see my story title and name listed. And sixth! That’s almost in the top half!
To celebrate, I figured I’d share my sixth-place very-short story with loyal members of the Moratorium Library (that’s you, if you’re reading this). Here’s what I submitted to NYC Midnight:
Echoes
I had veered from the trail four days ago, still expecting to be home before the weekend was over. I hadn’t intended to go very far, but the lush undergrowth and soaring trees beckoned me deeper into the forest. I had hiked and camped in places far more remote than this; what could possibly go wrong?
I wasn’t worried on day two, even after my compass told me I was heading west——toward the parking lot——and yet I never saw or heard another hiker or a car. By day three, I still hadn’t heard a sound from the forest. No birdsong; no skittering prey animals. Just my hiking boots on rotting leaves, my breathing calm and steady.
On day four, I began to hear sounds again: a whispering voice droning in my ear as I walked, a distant shriek that I told myself was just a bird but knew in my heart of hearts was not. The sound of the voice grew louder as the day wore on: walk on; go that way; no, there; why have you come here? The voice echoed through the still branches of the trees and led me in circles. The sun didn’t seem to move; the shadows were deep.
I paused and felt two hands on my back, snaking up to my shoulders. And the last thing I knew was the sound of that voice, directly in my ear: You are not welcome, but now you are mine.
Anyway, I also finished a good book (see above). A banner week!
Closing thoughts:
Go to therapy——whenever you’re ready. There are some things you can vent to friends, family, and significant others about, but there are others that need a little extra help to untangle. And when you find the right therapist, they’ll help you do that.
