It Feels Like It’s Been Raining Forever
Currently reading:
Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Books finished this week: 1
★★★☆☆
Where this book came from: I believe I purchased this from Kew & Willow in the spring of 2020. Definitely peak pandemic lockdown.
Why this book: I was finding myself unable to do nothing. Or, rather, unable to feel okay with doing nothing. I thought this might help.
Thoughts: When I started reading How to Do Nothing, I was all in. I was reading and rereading lines; I was underlining and dog-earring. The first two chapters helped me realize that I could just have hobbies without sharing or monetizing them, that taking in and interacting with nature and my community were just as important as work. This book put me on a path to feeling comfortable deciding what productivity and success looked like for me, rather than trying to appease some unknowable societal standard. And then, something changed around Chapter 3. Things got more repetitive, more slow, a touch too academic for me. I totally lost steam and found it hard to get back into reading when I did pick up the book. I underlined a few thoughts, but I mostly found myself rolling my eyes and skimming forward. I can’t recommend the first two chapters of this book enough——and then maybe you can just put it down.
Library updates:
As you’ve likely noticed, it’s been a little while since I actually, uh, finished a Library book. (This week feels like a small miracle.) I think part of my inability to finish a book stems from the fact that my reading time has not felt like my own for a little while now.
I still hold that being busy makes me prioritize the things I actually want to do in my spare time. Knowing I only have a few hours on evening to get things done gives me an extra push to not sit and watch six hours of YouTube. (Though I will still, routinely, watch six hour of absolute nonsense——and some ASMR——on YouTube.) I might paint my nails. I might write. Hell, I might knit! Tis the season!
The problem is that my limited free time has been going to things I need to do. Which I guess means it’s not actually free time. Regardless, not very How to Do Nothing of me, I know. I’ve gotten back on the freelance review bandwagon, plus I have a book to read for an upcoming DEI discussion. So when I settle down to read, I have books that need to be prioritized over the books I might choose to read, because the priority books have things attached, pesky things like expectations and deadlines.
A nicer distraction has been writing! Though that has felt a bit more like work lately. I’m usually pretty good about buckling down and getting 1000 words or more out when I go to Shut Up and Write, and writing at home can be a bit more of a struggle. I’m working on a side project that I’m thinking I’ll try out on Kindle Vella in the next few months, but even though I really like the story and think it’ll be a lot of fun to write (and read, hopefully!), I sort of feel like the characters know I’m using them as a clout grab and are doing everything they can to make it hard to work with them.
Sometimes, things feel right and the story flows. More often, they all feel a little sullen and flat, and I don’t know how to coax them out and make them interesting. I’m hoping that spending more time with them will make them realize how special they are to me. They’re some of my first original characters to get shared out in the world, after all. I want to do them justice.
(And I want to soak up some of that sweet, sweet Amazon money.)
To close out this week, here’s a subject that’s totally out of left field: country music star Loretta Lynn, who passed away this week. I picked up my phone on Tuesday to text my mom and saw the New York Times alert about Lynn, and it really knocked the wind out of my sails for a minute.
I grew up on Long Island; both of my parents are from New York City. I’m about as far from Loretta Lynn’s upbringing as I could possibly be. And we were never a country music family. But the movie Coal Miner’s Daughter, based on Lynn’s memoir of her early life and success, was a staple in our house. It’s part of the reason I adore Sissy Spacek (that, and Carrie, and my mom’s favorite repeated line about how Sissy is Slovak, so we should all be pronouncing her last name Spah-check).
More importantly, that movie introduced me to Loretta Lynn’s music, and I think I found other greats—like Dolly Parton—through her. Lynn was absolutely incredible, a powerhouse. I didn’t really listen to anything beyond her hits at the start, but I started digging deeper into her catalog and found a number of moving songs and feminist anthems. Plus, her song, “Fist City,” is my Rogue anthem, and you cannot change my mind.
As I read Lynn’s obituary, I thought about her, about Dolly Parton, and about the sheer amount of creative energy they’ve both expended, and how much of themselves they’ve shared with the world. I was blown away by this fact about Lynn:
In 1962, “Success,” about the relationship between material wealth and happiness, became her first Top 10 single.
Over the next 28 years, Ms. Lynn placed 77 singles on the country charts. More than 50 of them reached the Top 10, and 16 reached No. 1, including “After the Fire Is Gone,” the first in a series of steamy hit duets she made with Conway Twitty.
Seventy-seven singles!! I was pleased with myself a couple weeks ago for filling a third journal in a handful of years. I am absolutely blown away by Loretta Lynn’s body of work—and I’m inspired by it. I want to be able to stack up my creative accomplishments, to count them, to be proud of putting in that much work and reaping the benefits (whatever they might be). I want to keep creating in that way.
Rest in peace, Loretta Lynn. I may not be like you, but I deeply admire you and hope to emulate your successes.
Closing thoughts:
You better move your feet if you don’t wanna eat a meal that’s called Fist City.
