New Tumblr Era™️

It’s probably counterintuitive to ponder social media on my blog dedicated solely to books. But I do have to use social media to promote what I’m doing over here. Plus, the Moratorium Library is as much about my life as it is about books, and my life, for better or worse, exists online, on social media, in some capacity.

I would say that social media is my main enemy in my quest to read through the Library. It’s also one of the major antagonists in my quest for Mental Health, but that’s neither here nor there. I finally had to set a timer on Instagram, because I was losing half an hour, then an hour, then more, to mindlessly scrolling through Reels. I’d wake up, pick up my phone, and start watching. Most of the time, I hated the shit Instagram was showing me. Oh, you liked that one meme video? Here are 8000 more!! You accidentally watched one mommy influencer talk about meal planning? You must want nothing but obnoxious family content! But I’d just angrily scroll past, in search of a watercoloring video, or something I might actually care about. And then the stupid algorithm would show me 8000 more of those videos, and suddenly the morning was over and I’d accomplished nothing, written nothing, read not a word. And I was probably late to work or about to miss a train I needed.

Anyway, I set a reminder through Instagram, which was laughable. After fifteen minutes on the app, a little screen would pop up saying, “idk maybe close Instagram, maybe uwu? If you want?” And I would close out of the reminder and that would be that. Scrolling continued. Reels I hated. Stories from people I followed that made me feel terrible about myself for not doing better, for not traveling more, for not having more friends. I turned on Screen Time, hoping to snap myself out of it, but even seeing six, seven, eight hours of screen time a day, and knowing most of that was Instagram, didn’t——wouldn’t——stop me. I was worthless. I had no self-control. Cue the spiral.

It got better when I set a limit through my phone. After fifteen minutes, the whole screen is blocked by a chiding iPhone reminder, with only two options: Ignore and Okay. I usually hit Okay, nowadays, and the app closes and grays itself out. It’s locked until tomorrow, when the limit resets. Even if I hit Ignore, I get another chance to redeem myself. I can ignore the limit entirely (which I’ve never done—I won’t let myself go back) or get fifteen more minutes. And that’s not fifteen cumulative minutes on the app, I’ve learned. The clock starts right then and there. And once the time is up, you’re shit out of luck——no more Instagram for you, Katie.

In my experience over the last few weeks, fifteen minutes is just enough time. It’s enough time to figure out what I want to post to try to entice you fine folks to read the Moratorium Library on a Sunday morning. It’s enough time to do a quick scroll down the timeline, watch stories from the people I care about most, or post something silly. That’s what social media is supposed to be, right? Just a way to keep informed and keep in touch. Just enough information to keep you going until you can talk to someone in person.

Granted, sometimes I cheat and check my DMs on my computer (the only other place I have Instagram access is on my personal laptop). But thankfully, the desktop version is so fucking godawful, I don’t get too swept up in it, and I’m usually on and off within five minutes.

Anyhow, social media——Instagram specifically——was taking up a lot of my leisure (a.k.a. reading) time, but putting that limit on Instagram pairs nicely with my new work schedule. Starting my new job gave me back my evenings, and that freedom is glorious. I can read! I can work (if I have to)! I can cook! I can go to an event or talk to a friend! Imagine that.

Of course, it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows on the social media front. I still pop onto Twitter sometimes; it’s definitely my preferred platform for doomscrolling. And into the vacuum left by Instagram came my Tumblr Renaissance.

I explained my history with Tumblr in this missive a few weeks back. I was big into it in college and for a time after, diving deep into specifically the Penny Dreadful and Lizzie Borden Chronicles (I know) fandoms right after I graduated. I don’t remember exactly when I joined or why, but I know I went onto the site knowing that people liked Supernatural there, and I also liked Supernatural. It soon became apparent that I did not like Supernatural the way the people on Tumblr did.

So, I set up my own little weird corner of the internet. A mix of fandoms that didn’t really make sense; pretty pictures of baked goods; lush interiors with built-in bookshelves (my main weakness). Sometimes I shared personal things about college or studying abroad; sometimes I linked to my fanfic. I was happy there.

I don’t remember when I left Tumblr, either. There wasn’t any kind of drama around it. I just sort of . . . lost interest, the same way I finally gave up and deleted Snapchat a few years ago. It wasn’t serving me anymore, so I got rid of it. I checked in occasionally through the desktop site, sometimes popping in to see what was going on in the tags of a new fandom I’d discovered. But I basically forgot my password and I didn’t feel the urge to go back.

As I also mentioned in that earlier post, I was talking to a friend (hi, Brendan!) and he started talking about being on Tumblr. I revisited my blog, scrolled around, added a few things to my queue. I spruced up my about-me page. It felt . . . nice.

Tumblr isn’t perfect, of course. For the first week or two, I’d really just replaced one addiction with another, scrolling my Tumblr timeline endlessly and doing deep dives into the content I’d chosen to share. I told myself it was fun, and it was. It felt like exploring a lost civilization——Katie in College, circa 2010–2014. The Aaron Sorkin Epoch, ending approximately 2017. Just . . . so many pictures of Sarah Paulson, from when I was so obsessed with her I couldn’t decide if I wanted to be her or be with her, and toyed with the idea that maybe I was a lesbian. (Nowadays, I’d say asexual and not looking, though with a preference for men on the romance front.) (Is this oversharing? Sorry, forgot I wasn’t on Tumblr.)

Anyway, I was spending too much time on Tumblr, is my point.

I’m working on reining in my time on any and all social media. I haven’t yet set a block on Tumblr, because I don’t think I need one just yet. My experience with Instagram has helped me be more mindful of the time I dedicate to these sites. When I’m tired, or when something makes me feel bad (whatever that feeling means), I call it. 

I’d also argue that Tumblr is far less of a hellsite than Instagram or Twitter are. Yes, there are endless porn bots, but what platform doesn’t have those? My first new follower of the New Tumblr Era™️ was a porn bot. (She seemed lovely, but I reported and blocked her.) I’m not advocating a mass return to Tumblr. What I’m saying is that, for me, Tumblr is the healthier choice. In my experience, it’s easier to find joyful or beautiful or hilarious content on Tumblr. Instagram shows you influencers regurgitating the same ideas, or TikToks stolen and reposted to Reels. Twitter is News and Opinions and I can’t always deal with those. Tumblr lets you explore on your own.

Yes, I’m still spending too much time on social media. But if I’m going to be spending a few hours somewhere, I’d rather it be Tumblr, where the content is fun and varied, where I feel like I have more control over what I see, where I can live in a silly little fantasy of fandom and find some nice fanart to reblog. Instagram just makes me feel shitty about myself. Life’s too short to waste your screen time on a shitty app that makes you feel gross.

Also, I’m going to read more. That was the whole point of this post.