What Kind of Year Has It Been
(Yes, I adapted the title of this post from the West Wing episode.)
One year ago today, the Moratorium Library opened. I marked the occasion with an opening day post, which laid out my vision and goals for the project, the parameters of the moratorium, and what those readers who stumbled upon the Library might expect to see. In an introductory post I typed up about a week and a half before the official opening, I also said that this would be an ongoing project. That still stands! But I also think it’s important to celebrate milestones, if only to keep me honest.
So, after one year of the Moratorium Library, here are some of the hard facts:
Books read: 35 (34 reviewed on the blog, the last finished yesterday evening)
Books purchased: 44 (whoops)
Most read authors: P. D. James and Taylor Jenkins Reid, tied at two books each
Average rating: 3.44 stars (via my shelf on Goodreads)
And here are two slightly more subjective judgments, but ones that I feel are just as valid and important to note:
Favorite book: Severance by Ling Ma, one of two five-star reads over the past year
Least favorite book: Rodham by Curtis Sittenfeld, purely for making me think of certain public figures doing the do
And how closely have I adhered to the ground rules, as laid out in that post on Sunday, May 1, 2022? Well . . .
The pledge:
For the next year(ish), beginning this day, Sunday, May 1, 2022, I pledge to read only the books (and comics) already on my shelves. I will not purchase a new book to add to my collection until I’ve read every single title I currently own. —— As we all know, this pledge was broken. Quite a bit.
The goals:
1) Read the books I already own . . . —— Let’s say I made a dent, at the very least.
2) Save some money . . . —— I haven’t done the actual math on this, but just knowing how often I was ordering from Barnes & Noble and indie stores in 2021-2022 compared to 2022-2023, I’d have to guess I have at least saved money in the book arena. (The crafting and home goods departments? Absolutely in the red.)
And 3) get myself on some kind of writing schedule, to promote consistent practice of the craft. —— Now this, I can say, was a success. Well, at least sometimes. I started going to a writing group last summer, for the first time ever. I didn’t go every week even then, and I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit over the last few months, so my fiction practice is suffering a bit at the moment. But I wrote at least one blog post almost every week for one year. I don’t know how many words that is (maybe I’ll count that up next year), but it’s a helluva lot more than I’ve written over the last few years, for sure, and it makes me want to keep writing. So, yes——check and check. Successful.
The caveats:
I’m trying to become a person who does book clubs . . . So I’m going to allow myself to purchase book club books, if I feel so inclined. —— I did exactly one (1) virtual book club meeting and read a book I really didn’t like all that much for a meeting I never attended. But don’t worry, I’ve found other social activities to fill the void instead.
If I have a friend visiting or if I travel to a new place with a really, really excellent indie bookstore, I’ll allow myself to make a purchase, as a souvenir. Support indie bookstores!! —— I absolutely did this, many times over.
I’m planning to only read owned books that I have not previously read . . . Basically, rereads aren’t off-limits, but they aren’t the focus of this project. —— I actually ended up not rereading anything over the past year! I missed my Dracula reread this past fall, but at least we’ll all have Dracula Daily back in our lives again soon.
I’ll give myself——hm——let’s say three passes to purchase books . . . I’ll let myself get three books (not to make three orders——to buy just three books) over the next year. —— HAHAHAHA (see the above count of 40+ books I purchased over the last year).
I’m going to try to just read what I have, but if I do feel the need to go outside the home, borrowed or library books don’t count, because I’m not spending any money on them. —— I did finally get a library card, but only went to the library once (to get said card). I did also read one borrowed book (Malibu Rising) and counted it toward the Library total, because I make the rules, so there.
Overall, it’s easy to look at the Moratorium Library as a project and deem it an abject failure. I bought just so many books; I read so few books that were on my shelves before May 2022. I basically failed at every goal and plan for the project.
But fuck it, the Moratorium Library was a success in my eyes. I found my love of reading again and managed to write up and publish a new blog post almost every week for a full year. I recommitted to writing in general, and got a lot of fiction work done, too. I had something to do every week, something to work on, and a place to share whatever thoughts popped into my head that I wanted out in the world and not just noted down in a journal. I didn’t feel pressured to write or to build an audience; I just wanted to do this. The Moratorium Library was a place to just exist.
Another aspect I wanted to look at on this most auspicious anniversary is how my life has changed beyond the books I read (or didn’t yet have the chance to read) and purchased in the last year. Because, boy howdy, a lot has changed. I still live in the same place and I’m still happy here. I’m still single and fine with that, too. I’m very lucky to still have my constant companion, Miss Moneypenny, in my life. I have a lot of the same friends, but also some amazing new ones. The month after starting the Moratorium Library, I started a new job. About a month after that, I started going back to therapy. I was eventually diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and I am so grateful to have access to both my daily Lexapro and semi-regular talk therapy. I thought about grad school (for the eighty-seventh time), then applied to grad school, and then got into grad school——surprise! I start this summer. I started writing more, then mostly stopped writing; I’m still working on finding my way back to that.
My head and heart feel better than they did a year ago. That isn’t all the doing of the Moratorium Library, I know, but I’ve enjoyed recounting here some of the things that have led to that brighter outlook.
As noted in the opening paragraph, no, the Moratorium Library will not be closing; yes, the weekly blog posts will continue (and yes, they will go up on Sundays, whenever possible!); and yes, I will continue to (attempt to) curb my nasty habit of buying books by publicly shaming myself via this blog. I’m going to re-up my goal of only purchasing three books over the next year. But, I mean, Megan Abbott has a book coming out this year (which I’ve already pre-ordered), and reading makes me happy, and aren’t there worse vices I could indulge in? So perhaps the goal is no longer a total moratorium, but mindfulness.
As of today, Monday, May 1, 2023, I pledge to continue reading, to continue writing, to watch my spending (on books and everything else), and to keep the Moratorium Library open indefinitely. Thank you for taking a peek at the shelves.
